Improbable Ties

I officially became part of a research study today. Of all the things I've experienced in my life, I never dreamed I'd be tied to a research study! But, the "opportunity" presented itself and I couldn't resist.

I've had lung problems all my life. I was diagnosed with asthma at the age of 4, and it dogged me right through my teen years. It wasn't until after I'd had my 1st son that it seemed to improve. Eventually, I'd thought I'd outgrown it. However, as I've aged, it seems to have returned and it's getting progressively worse, to the point that I've now been diagnosed with moderate COPD. Not that 27 years of smoking (yes, smoking) helped it at all...Anyway, when I heard they were looking for people over the age of 40 with COPD, I decided to volunteer.

I left work at 11:00 a.m. today and drove over to Spokane to see if I was the type of person that would meet the criteria for the study. As it turns out, I am exactly the type they are looking for! (Oh, joy!) As I drove over, I asked myself why I would want to participate in such a study. I immediately thought of the reason I SHOULD want to be involved - to hopefully help provide future COPD patients with the opportunity for more effective treatment. But I must tell you, that is NOT the first thing that popped into my head! Ashamedly, I must confess that my first reason was CURIOSITY. I'd heard of these studies all my life, and had even known a few people who'd participated. I always wanted to know details; what was involved, what happened during the studies? If the medications provided dramatic improvement to the individual(s) participating, do they just let them keep taking the experimental drug?

An even less altruistic reason for taking part is that you are PAID to be part of the study. Mind you, you won't make enough to take a year long sabbatical from your day job, but it IS about equal to the cost I would have to pay for an office visit, which tickled me in a way. Who'd have thought I'd find a way to get the doctors to pay ME to go see them? I was feeling quite smug as I walked through the doors of the 5th and Browne Medical Building. In my own little way, I was beating the system!

However, upon finding out I'd been accepted into the double-blind study and being briefed on the particulars, I walked out of the building feeling more like an alcoholic who'd just sold a pint of blood than any kind of hero. Are my morals not what I'd always thought they were? Was money the REAL reason I was taking part in the study? PERISH THE THOUGHT! Of course not! The money is a small stipend to help pay the mileage back and forth to the research facility. A gratuity for my agreeing to participate in a study that could possibly (not PROBABLY, but POSSIBLY) kill me. What lame, selfish reasons to be taking part in this study! I don't feel comfortable even considering such things and I refuse to believe I could seriously consider participating in any kind of study unless I knew that it would somehow ultimately benefit those suffering, now or in the future, from lung disease. But I still can't help feeling curious....Who indeed would have thought that I'd ever be tied to such a thing?

I've always thought about donating my body to science after I die. Who knew I'd be doing it BEFORE?