The Awakening....

During one of our later sessions, Dr. Grant asked me what I was going to be doing in 5 years. The question took me by surprise, since for most of the year I'd spent all my energy just trying to make it to the next day! After a few moments thought, I told him I had been more focused on what I wanted to do after retirement. "Ok", he said, "What are your plans after retirement?" I told him my dream of wintering in North/South Carolina and spending the summer in North Idaho. He asked me how I was going to make that happen. (He obviously didn't get the part about it being a DREAM). "Well," I said, "first and foremost, we have to pay off our bills!" He asked me how much I owed, and, ashamedly hanging my head, I told him - "Almost $50,000.00". A slight grin came over his face and he said "Do you know how much debt my wife and I have right now?" (Mind you, the man has attended school for the majority of his life and his wife also owed on several student loans. They also had property in North Carolina, along with various other debts they'd acquired.) As he spoke however, I was thinking "So what? You're a doctor! You can afford to carry that debt load and have it paid off in a few years!" Then he told me how far in debt they were. I nearly passed out right there in the chair!! Unfazed, he explained how he and his wife decided to make getting out of debt a priority. They set about a plan. He listed all of his debts, then graphed the whole thing on paper. He chose to pay off the debt starting with the single lowest amount. When that debt was paid, he took the payment and placed it toward the next lowest. When that debt was paid, he took the amount of the two paid debts and threw it toward the next. This produced a snowball effect. He updated the graph from month to month, so he could see his debt shrinking. This gave him a sense of accomplishment and spurred him on. "Hmmm", I thought, "I wonder if I could make that work for me?" Dr. Grant suggested that I give it a try. And so was born my first Action Plan. My wildest pipe dream was becoming a goal - to be bi-coastal - a way for me to be near my beloved kids and grand kids and to also remain rooted in the place I knew and loved dearly - the place my ancestors homesteaded before it was even a State.

After my session that day, Josh and I went over what Dr. Grant and I had discussed. Josh said "Sure mom, that is the same technique I used to get Tia and myself out of debt! It's a great system!" He agreed to help me crunch some numbers, which was good because well, I can't figure out a microwave - you take it from there! I listed all my debts, we made a few phone calls to get exact figures, and Josh went into the other room. Within about a half-hour, he returned with a big grin and announced that he had it all figured out. He'd even graphed the whole thing for me. We sat down and he explained to me how it would work and what he discovered - I COULD BE DEBT FREE AND BI-COASTAL IN ONLY 3 AND 1/2 YEARS!!

THAT is when it finally struck me. All of pieces suddenly fell neatly into place. THIS was REALLY GOING TO WORK FOR ME! This cognitive thinking was all I'd hoped for and so much more!! The weight of a million bricks fell from my shoulders like so much dust. I WAS ECSTATIC!! I WAS FREE!! I had my life back again!! For the first time in longer than I could remember, I HAD CONTROL OF MY LIFE!! I can't even describe to you the feeling I felt! A million thoughts rushed into my head. I had it within me to realize ALL of my hopes and dreams (most of which I'd convinced myself would never come true). The list was endless! I could finish school! I could study law and even get a Juris Doctor (not that I desire to practice, but just because I love the law). Kelly and I WEREN'T going to be stuck struggling for the rest of our lives. We can have a wonderful retirement - One we can truly enjoy!! I came as close to soaring that day as any person could hope to do without the aid of wings or planes. The joy comes back to me every time I think of it!! I felt 18 again!! The world was my oyster! I best way I can describe that feeling (as odd as it sounds), is to compare it with the feelings of Frank Cross in the movie "Scrooged", after being forced to follow 3 ghosts around and finally realizing that he had a second chance to "Get it Right" - To become TRULY successful in life. Although the character Cross' and my situations differ considerably, we've both come away from our experiences with similar feelings...

(paraphrased)
"Everybody's gotta have this miracle! It can happen tonight for all of you!
If you believe in this pure thing, the miracle will happen and you'll want it again tomorrow!
You won't say "it's a fraud." It's NOT!
It can happen every day! You've just got to want that feeling!
You'll want it every day! It can happen to you!
I believe in it now!
I believe it's gonna happen to me, now. I'm ready for it!
And it's great. It's a good feeling.
It's better than I've felt in a very long time.
I'm ready..."