A Warm Welcome....

It's been 10 days since my last entry. This is a post I have no interest in recalling or relaying....My first (and only) visit with the shrink. I call him this not to belittle or degrade the profession. It's just that, as I sat there with the doctor, I felt myself shrinking. If I could have shrunk completely out of sight, so much the better. I learned instantly that there was one word to describe the man - BLUNT. Maybe I needed to hear what he said. He laid things on the line to me (although all he knew about me was what my G.P. had told him). I was told in no uncertain terms that I was sick, I was making myself sicker, and there was no way I could get better without becoming an "inpatient" in his 14 day program. In my state, I became easily convinced that he must be right. All the same, something inside my shrunken head kept telling me he was full of SHIT and yes, he does bear a strange resemblance to Dr. Phil. I DON'T LIKE DR. PHIL, (and I liked this guy even less).

As I looked around the "facility", I soon realized that this place was no celebrity rehab!! No palm trees or gourmet food here! In fact, I quickly determined that this place more resembled the Bates Hotel. Quickly tiring of the dressing down I was receiving from Dr. Bates, I allowed my mind to wander and I envisioned Anthony Hopkins in an old woman's wig, sitting in a rocker in front of a window at the Bates Hotel. I saw Janet Leigh in the shower with some sort of red substance running down the drain. I was rousted from my daydream when Dr. Shrink announced that he was going to check to make sure my insurance would cover my stay in this lovely establishment. I returned to the waiting room.

It wasn't long before the doctor re-appeared to announce that the insurance would only pay for an 8 day stay. The program was 14 days long and no, I couldn't just stay 8 days. However, he decided that it would be no problem for me to pay for the other 6 days myself. I knew then that he definitely WAS full of shit (and crazier than I was). I promptly left the building, the shrink, his "nurse" and Alfred Hitchcock to themselves.